I would fall into days of dark depression then finally build up the strength to be positive and to snap out of it for another few days. But the tiniest and simplest thing would trigger off my tears again. This was my routine.It was a tiring process and most of the time i couldn't be bothered battling with my mind. Friends and family came and went sometimes helping me with my tears and other times making me laugh. But even in my laughter there was something missing. I never seemed to be truly happy. I just seemed to be passing time till i waited for something else. I was tired of just existing. I wanted to live. But whats the point in living when there was no life in it. These questions went through my mind over and over again till i reach the point of not wanting to wake up from my dreams that felt so real. Deep down,i knew it was normal to feel like this. I didn't particularly think i was losing my mind. I knew that people said that one day i would be happy again and that this feeling would be a distant memory. It was getting to that feeling was the hard part. I know i can't face that or start a new. I knew the truth yet i kept denying. I knew what my heart was saying but i kept telling that i should be okey.

Well this is not all of it actually. I just type the middle part of what i wrote the whole day yesterday. I got this idea from a book. Writing exactly what i feel actually felt better,at least much better then before. Im sorry to say to who i have let down that actually i am weak in this part. I'm never strong at facing a break up,honestly.. Know how i got over it previous times,the truth is by just accepting another human in my life but im tired of that. Im old enough to know what is right. My mind says no but my heart says yes. Soo all im answering now is I DONT KNOW! Wish you would understand. You may think im over reacting but its just what im feeling and i can't lie about it anymore. 

Ouh ya so anyway i have been wondering to go to Henderson Wave. Take pictures and chill there i guess. I have been to Botanic Garden,HotPark and actually i think i have been to Henderson Wave once but i totally forgot. Seriously.. Did i? Haha.. Soo anyway i stayed home again today and watch HSM3 AGAIN! I just love the story line. =) And of course their songs... Okey i think this post is long enough. Okey good bye dear readers..

xoxo