About my previous post. It was just another of many nightmares. Im not mentioning what is it cause it is not necessary and it inappropriate... i find this uneasy to conquer and face. I felt stupid and yes i felt i've lost.. Not only that i fell apart but i also felt like giving up.. Easiest phrase would be " im hurt "!! Really i am... I did smile but tears when down.. I did laugh but i stop immediately after thinking about it.. I didn't ask for this every time i say yes. I didn't ask to know a friend through a misunderstanding. Yes you are friend to me now but i dont see that now. Im sorry. If you are her then be it cause i did not mention anyone's name now. Yes you were with me for all this while and im only yours but it does not prove i will always be or it does not prove that you mean it either. The same way you think we are only with our words.. Fyi i didn't even complain about this to anyone... I face this alone. Instead of running to gfs or friends and "merayu" meaning realizing it to someone else and complain or whatsoever...They ask me instead.. Ouh gosh why on earth am i typing this.. Okey itll be fine soon.. i guess cause it always will then it will start again.. It always is the beginning right ? fine.. i get it and i understand you now... Yes history but soo what!! 
Anyway school was okey... Played with a condom in class.. I know disgusting but thanks to Dian.. hahaha.. I laughed but i had to,it was hilarious.. Had my mind off for awhile.. When home with them and home,knowing that im still stuck somewhere... idk la... Ouh ya Science is freaking hard now.. Im trying my best to understand Indian+English.. -_- Tmr is a new day of a another month longer with Muhammad Isa. Cant believe its 11 month anniversary already!! I love him alot!! AND once again he is mine!! Im SOO proud of that,how can i not be?? right?  I more month to one year..
To my dearest boyfriend!!
Thank you for being there for me when i need you.=) yes we have been through a lot and ... Ever since you came into my life i have been fill up with your care and concern and the happiest days of my life was spent with you. How i wish you knew how much you meant to me and that i will never take anything for a reason for us to break up. I want us to last no matter what happens. Only death can separate us! You never fail to make me smile or laugh no matter how much i sulk or get angry. See how sweet of you.. My one wish would be...
Make me the girl last standing in your life!!
Happy 11 month anniversary in advance!! its tomorrow but i dont think ill post tmr.. =) 140209!